Being the main caregiver for a loved one with cancer, expectations for the holidays, or the challenges of Covid are a lot to deal with individually, but we know that many people are dealing with all three right now. We have some suggestions on how to ease your burden during this season, including ways to support direct caregivers or cancer patients from afar.
Don’t Neglect Yourself
As a caregiver, you are already occupied with providing support to someone going through cancer treatment, and the added holiday pressure can make everything seem overwhelming. So our first tip for you is to put YOURSELF first sometimes. Consider it a gift to yourself to take 30 minutes to walk around the neighborhood or chat with a friend or spend time on a favorite hobby. Talk to a therapist if you aren’t already or join an online caregiver support group. You will not be failing your loved one by taking some time to “refill your cup”, and we’re pretty sure it will make them smile to see you doing things to care for yourself while you are taking such good care of them.
Outsource!
If you can financially afford to outsource some of your holiday or everyday obligations right now, do that, we are giving you permission. Whether it is doing grocery pickup or having them delivered, or even signing up for a meal service, go for it. Holiday cooking can even be catered. Holiday shopping can be trickier, so if you are opposed to giving gift cards or cash, reach out to a family member and ask them to do your shopping for you.
If money is tight right now, there are still ways to outsource. Many grocery stores have waived their curbside pickup fees because of Covid, so that is an option. You could also ask for meal preparation or a subscription to a meal service as a gift for the holidays. Ask some friends to cook some holiday favorites and drop them at your door.
You don’t have to be a superhero and do everything you have always done in order to prove you still can, give yourself a break because you are already doing a lot. Also, many of your loved ones are probably looking for a way to help you right now, so let them!
Which Traditions Can You Keep? Which Can You Start?
Something that many people are grappling with now is how to keep the magic and joy in the holidays amidst Covid, and cancer obviously adds further complications. Even if you might not be feeling very joyful this year, we encourage you to keep some of your treasured traditions, even if you have to adapt them a little bit. Decorate for the holidays, but maybe keep it to just the space where you spend most of your time. Cook favorite family recipes so that you can all be together in spirit if you can’t be in person. Set up a holiday movie night with family or friends when everyone is instructed to start the movie at the same time and text each other throughout. Or, you could start a new tradition to keep things fun and fresh. Decorate cookies for friends and neighbors and deliver them to their doorsteps, play a new game together, make holiday recipes from around the world, whatever makes sense for you! You can still find moments of happiness during this holiday season, even though it’s not what you expected.
What Can I Do if I Can’t Support in Person?
If you have a loved one going through cancer treatment and you can’t support them in person due to distance or Covid, there are still many ways you can help make their holidays a little brighter. Offer to take on some of the “outsourcing” tasks mentioned above, or come up with something else you can offer. You could pay for their groceries for the week, or send them a restaurant meal, or pick up a medication from the pharmacy that can’t be mailed. Buy them a few months of a subscription streaming service or some other service or “luxury” that they may be cutting due to the increased financial burden of cancer treatment. And in this time when we are all feeling a little isolated, that goes double for cancer patients and their households because they have to be extra cautious. Calling to check in, texting them a funny picture, or sending a sweet note to show you are thinking of them really does go a long way.
From all of us at VBCF, we wish you and yours a happy holiday season and a joyful end to 2020!
Photo by cottonbro from Pexels
3 Responses
This post was truly worthwhile to read. I wanted to say thank you for the key points you have pointed out as they are enlightening.
Thank you! Is there a tip you thought was particularly useful or something you would like to add?
One reality about life that you should work on is not becoming blinded by your own emotions of anger and anxiety. You inevitably let them control your decisions in life, big and small. And Caregiving is not an exception. For this blog Not Letting Anxiety and Anger Overpower in Caregiving , you will know how to deal with these emotions to achieve great heights in caregiving despite the pandemic. The following are some of the advice you might want to take as a coping mechanism.
Hope this will help. Thank you.